Friday, February 27, 2009

Birth Order of Children

Ok so I wanted to share this with everyone. I finally got around to checking my e-mail today and this was sent to me by a good friend. All the mommies out there, ENJOY! I laughed at how right most of it was. :-D (Kat, this is what you have to look forward too.)

Clothing

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby:
You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________

preparing for the Birth:

1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
__________________________________________ ____________

The Layette
:

1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________

Worries:


1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:


1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________

Diapering:


1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________


Activities


1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
_____________________________ _________________________

Going Out:


1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.

2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby:
You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):


1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________________________________


Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children. .
(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)



GRANDCHILDREN:

God's reward
for allowing your children
to live!

1 comment:

Newmans Wildcats said...

FUNNY!!! FUNNY!!!! I love the Grandchildren!!!