Budgeting Money

I have sat here and thought the best way to start this and I can't really come up with anything "catchy". I figured I'd start out with some background that I wasn't the best when it came to budgeting. I have come a LONG way and am very proud of myself. My husband and I came into the Army life with hardly anything in the bank (because he had been without a good job for about 2 years, he worked as a contractor for the Armor Center and after 9/11 alot of gov't contracts were cut, and I had been in a bad car accident and didn't have insurance). We paid all of the bills off and were without debt most of the time, aside from one loan for a car (which we paid off early) and my monthly cellphone bill. We have and will continue to "live within our means". Which I believe many people don't think about when they get in huge debt. Our last car we bought, we saved our money until we had enough to pay cash for. We have also tried to keep enough money in savings in case of an emergency (accident, pay problems, etc). Enough for background.

We recently are buying a house. Back in November we (us and his parents) agreed upon a certain price. We budgeted ahead of time for certain things (remodeling, a good vacation before he deploys, bills, loan/insurance payments, etc). Pretty much everything that we weren't having to pay when we lived on post. Fast forward to January. It was bad enough that we weren't told when we went to get the loan that we would only be given 80% of what we were asking for. We had asked for only the amount that we weren't going to pay out of pocket for (not the real numbers just an example...if we were going to buy it for 200 and put 20 down payment we only asked 180). So now not only are we having to come up with the extra we weren't expecting to pay out of pocket for, they raised the price $10,000 and are denying they ever agreed on the other price. Honestly I know his mother remembers because of her body language and refusal to talk about it and then the fact she said it was a "joke". Now, how can it be a joke when we talked almost 10 times before we came here about the same price?

Now here's the kicker! Without going into details and without saying how much, I will use the latest news as an example. We'll liken it to say the banking industry. The gov't just recently bailed out the banks because they were idiots with how they loaned out money. Because they didn't know or care how to manage their money the gov't came in and gave them money. A lot of money! Now, what does that teach them? Well, when Tom confronted them about raising the price (he did it without me being there so he wouldn't embarrass his dad and to give his dad a chance to own up to the mistake so he could keep his "dignity") they said that they "didn't remember" and that they were going to "bail out" (notice the similarity?) a certain "group". Now this "group" also makes at least twice if not more than what we make. So when Tom told me this I asked the question why it was ok to pretty much take money from one to help out another when they would be putting one tight on money so the other wouldnt' be. You'll never guess the answer he was given....


Are you ready?...


and I will quote "Well then you'll just have to sit down and make a new budget."


I'll let you take that in for a min.


Now this is after telling her what we had budgeted our money for, the loan problem, Tom being in another car accident last week and that we would need to buy another car when he gets back from deployment, and the fact that we will have below what we like to have in the bank for emergencies.

Now if this isn't being a hypocrite, I don't know what is. If this advice is good for one, then shouldn't it be good for the other?

I have to say I didn't believe my husband when we were first together that he wasn't the favorite son. This is "the straw that broke the camels back". They have given this other group a shit load of "help", but have expected us to pay them back every cent that they have loaned us. I've had to defend Thomas when he went back through BCT and OCS (his mother always went on about how he was a wimp and he wasn't going to make it...even to people in public). I honestly am done being angry. I'm done being hurt. I'm done with them. I have great respect to Tom because he always said that you don't do 'x' to family. He has taken alot from them and let it go. He is a good man! He has higher standards for family and how you treat them. Now it is my turn. I am not going to let them think they can just walk all over him on this. Yes we are going to pay the money because I don't want that to be an issue, but that's it. We will be ok because we can stand on our own to feet and we don't need mommy and daddy to bail us out when we get into trouble. We take responsibly for our actions, something I think more people need to do. Right or wrong, I want nothing more to do with them. Yes, I will be civil. Yes, I will invite them to important things (birthdays, holiday party's, etc), but I don't want to see them any other time. Now, I have told Tom that I don't care if he goes to see them and that I still want him to because they are his parents. I don't want him to feel like I would be upset if he did, which I know that would be very wrong of me.

We will be able to make it, that isn't the point. The point is a simple one...it's the principle of the matter.